Monday, 2 February 2015

Girlfriend #1 and the Year of Making Things Happen

Y'all know I have this girlfriend with whom I have had a loving and marvelous relationship for some years now. I've also mentioned that this has been a non-sexual relationship. By which I don't mean we haven't snogged, or felt each other up, or reasonably often had the desire to do all sorts of delicious things to each other. We just didn't have the time or space to make that happen without it becoming an effort for both of us.

Well, so now we're making the effort. <yeah, I'm smiling.>

We started talking a few months ago, about this bit where we don't have a sexual relationship, and most people who know us see us as besties rather than girlfriends. And both of us were quite clear in our heads that we feel other than, more than, different than besties. Sex or no sex, dates or no dates, our attachment has always been romantic, loving, committed in a way is more like a love relationship than a bestie friendship.

And then she suggested maybe we do this proper-like. Regular date nights, a more physical relationship. She talked it over with her boyfriend and he agreed to it. In fact, he's been very supportive, and I'm really liking how my relationship with him is also growing.

So now we have weekly dates, and we kiss a lot, and it's pretty damn sexy. And I'm scared as hell. What if we disturb our nice, neat status quo and it turns out to be more difficult than we thought and it changes us? What if I'm just not enough fun in bed? What if what if what if? This relationship is so very important to me, and is so much a part of my life, that I really really don't want to lose it.

But man, it's so awesome to spend time with her, exactly the same way we always have, but know that this relationship now has space to grow, to include whatever we want it to include, to teach us both things, to have time together that is dedicated to our relationship. And sleepovers. And sex. And I don't even know what else... a future. If we get this right, we get to imagine our future together, with all of the fun stuff I just listed.

And I'm here to tell you, my girlfriend is a freaking gorgeous woman. And smart, and funny and incredibly elegant. Being out with her makes me want to yell "Check out my seriously hot girlfriend", but I don't need to, because everyone is already checking her out. Call me superficial all you like, I enjoy that.

Wish us luck, readers. We have this whole year of change ahead, and this part is a really great part.

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