Thursday, 2 October 2014

Day-to-day - or: what's preoccupying me right now

I cancelled a night away tomorrow night. Now, I have an arrangement with boyfriend #2 and girlfriend #2 that if I'm not going to be there, and when girlfriend #2's partner is at home, they use my home so they can have some alone time. I just messed up a plan for that by changing my plans for this weekend. I'll be home on Saturday night, as will my kids. Here's what's going around and around in my mind:

  1. I feel bad. I know they're going to want some time together and I can't facilitate that.
  2. I know I shouldn't feel bad. They both understand the circumstances, and they both make it clear that they appreciate my sharing my space when I can.
  3. I'm afraid that girlfriend #2 will be angry or upset with me for setting this back. 
  4. I know that's a stupid thing to be afraid of. Of course she won't. But I am still.
  5. I also know that they had a lot of time when her primary was away and they were able to spend time at her place. And that when her primary is here they've often stayed at my place, so one time it gets messed up isn't a train-smash.
  6. I still feel bad.
  7. I worry that girlfriend #2 will want to change the rest of the weekend plans, which otherwise work out quite well for me.
  8. But I miss girlfriend #2, who I don't see often enough, so then I think maybe a triad night would be fun for all of us.
  9. But then when will each of us have individual time with the boyfriend?
  10. We still don't actually know if boyfriend #2 can come to town this weekend, so all of this could be moot.
  11. When am I actually going to spend time with boyfriend #1, who may or may not be working the whole weekend? How is that a potential spanner in the works?

This is all kind of silly, you'll agree. But this is what's occupying my thoughts today. And yes, I will definitely talk about jealousy at some point. I'm imagining some of you going: "wait, what? You are cool with your boyfriend having another girlfriend is one thing, but having them stay in your house? Do they sleep in your bed? How does this all work?" I'll get to that. Fear not.

EDIT; Yeah, he's not coming, so that solves that problem. So girlfriend #2 and I are going to have a date night instead. Sort of. Yay. Don't get nearly enough girlfriend date nights.

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